When I woke up on November 16, 2019 I had no idea I would find out I was going to be a mother. It’s funny how a day can feel like just any other day but in an instant your world is completely rocked. If you had told me that 2019 was the year that I would find the love of my life and start a family I would have laughed in your face.
While I did have this timeline since I was 18 that I would have a stable job by 23, married by 25, and have kids by 27, none of that was becoming my reality. At 27, I was not even close to a stable job, working as a contractor and walking in every day wondering if it was my last and single with no prospects in sight. But hey, I was pretty close to my prediction of kids at 27 since I found out I was pregnant 3 days after my 28th birthday.
While my plan didn’t come to fruition quite the way I thought it would, I wouldn’t change it for the world. What’s that saying, you try to make plans and God laughs at them or something? I would say he laughed pretty hard at mine.
How We Met
To preface me getting pregnant I want to give you a brief background on my relationship with my boyfriend and now baby daddy, Chandler. Chandler and I started dating at the end of August 2019 after being friends for a little over a year. I’ve never dated someone I was friends with first so I don’t know if this is normal but things between us became serious quite quickly. We talked for hours about everything: family, past relationships, what we want in this relationship, aspirations, kids, how we wanted to raise them, religious beliefs etc.
We were very open, honest, and upfront about what we wanted and it turned out we wanted a lot of the same things. During those conversations we talked about the possibility of getting pregnant and what we would do. And it was a pretty easy conversation, neither of us believed in abortion and were fully okay with the possibility of having one another’s child. I know, it sounds absolutely crazy that after only a few weeks of being with someone we could both honestly sit down and say, “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind having a baby with you”.
But I remember dating guys in the past and thinking if I got pregnant I would feel trapped and not know what to do. While we discussed all of this, we weren’t entirely convinced that Chandler could have kids so we ran with that decision and didn’t think it would become too much of an issue.
Now, it’s November 16, 2019 and I am three days late for my period. I tracked my cycle on the Flo app and usually it’s one or two days off but not three. So told Chandler I wanted to get a pregnancy test just to be sure. I thought that I was overreacting and being dramatic but was also anxious to see if I could possibly be pregnant. So on a sunny Saturday morning we go to get brunch at a local breakfast place, wait entirely too long for awful food and quickly leave. There was a Walgreens next door so we stopped in and got a pregnancy test. Chandler made some silly comment to the cashier like “wish us luck” or something and headed home.
On the way home we started listening to a Hawthorne Heights’ old album and instantly felt the nostalgia of my punk rock high school days. Do you ever hear a song or an album and it brings you back to a very vivid moment or time in your life? Yeah, that was me the whole way home.
Once we got home I kept the music playing and lay on the bed pretending like we were just going to continue about our day. I don’t know if it was just the comfort of going to buy the test or what but I didn’t really want to actually take the test after that. I just kept thinking I was making a big deal out of nothing and that if this test is negative I just need to chill out. I mean I was living and dying by what this silly app is telling me when I’m going to get my period. These things are wrong all the time, right?
So Chandler finally asks me if I’m going to take the test so I hesitantly get up and go into the bathroom. In total denial I just open the package, follow the instructions and as soon as I’m done I look at the test to find two lines staring back at me. Chandler is right outside the bathroom still listening to music and I shout, “Holy shit I see two lines already!” He comes in and has no idea what I’m talking about so I tell him, “I think I’m pregnant”.
But it couldn’t possibly be, so then I tell him, “Well let’s wait the three minutes like it says” knowing full well this means I’m pregnant. The directions specifically say if there’s any kind of second line it’s a positive test. And I knew this, I have taken pregnancy tests in the past and never seen even the faintest of two lines. So my heart starts pounding and while yeah we agreed it would be okay if I got pregnant I didn’t really know if he would be okay with it much less after 6 weeks of dating!
So there’s this moment of silence and we’re staring at each other not knowing what to say. While holding his hands I say, “We’re going to have a baby”. And for a second, I was terrified. But I never saw panic come across his face, only excitement and I immediately felt relief. We were both in shock but the overall feeling for both of us was pure joy to have this chance to create life.
It was like one minute we were super excited and then the next minute we were like wait what just happened?! There was a lot of sitting on the bed just repeating. “oh my god, we’re going to have a baby”. Even now we say that to each other like it still hasn’t truly set in. But in the end we created this amazing little human out of love and knew this was meant to be.
It’s wild to sit back and really think about all the factors that had to take place to create this specific human. Gary Vee always talks about how the odds of us being born are 400 trillion to one, how it is a miracle we are here today on this earth and this child is no different. Baby Smith was certainly not planned but was not an accident.
There are so many couples out there trying desperately to have a child and cannot, yet this little miracle fought the odds and will be entering this world in July 2020. We are beyond excited to start a family and have this little baby enter our lives, it is already incredibly loved!
What’s Your Story?
I love hearing pregnancy stories because everyone’s journey is so unique. Some couples try to conceive for months, struggle with infertility and use IVF or
surrogacy, some adopt, or some are like me and wake up one day to find out they are going to be parents. I would love to hear your pregnancy stories! Let me know in the comments and how your significant other responded!